We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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