I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
