She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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