That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize