dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
