Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize