At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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