He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
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So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We have so much sex to catch up on
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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