Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
