Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i have herpe
just one?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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