I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
