this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
