I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
