somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
