He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
