we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize