Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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