My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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