Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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