Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
