dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
