Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's get the cat blown out
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize