I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
