my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
