am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
