Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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