No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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