Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
