i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
