"it" just moved
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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