What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
