I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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