Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she told me i tasted like america
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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