The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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