Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning

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  (214): yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning http://tfl.nu/ufvh
  Replies (54) Good night (2070) Bad night (3954)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes

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  (416): she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/kujh
  Replies (15) Good night (1026) Bad night (4520)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper

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  (203): his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper http://tfl.nu/7n4i
  Replies (56) Good night (28069) Bad night (1639)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck

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  (325): I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck http://tfl.nu/ow44
  Replies (4) Good night (2130) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.

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  (949): Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive. http://tfl.nu/to91
  Replies (15) Good night (2188) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

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  (202): Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it. http://tfl.nu/4ii1
  Replies (2) Good night (3021) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.

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  (440): Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick. http://tfl.nu/gh2j
  Replies (5) Good night (1303) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things

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  (248): Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things http://tfl.nu/ht36
  Replies (9) Good night (1316) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out

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  (765): i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out http://tfl.nu/3iy5
  Replies (8) Good night (858) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.

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  (201): If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses. http://tfl.nu/91v1
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet

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  (720): Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet http://tfl.nu/1g40
  Replies (4) Good night (1142) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed

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  (515): Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed http://tfl.nu/4vqk
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.

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  (617): Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned. http://tfl.nu/urtx
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..

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  (989): The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering.. http://tfl.nu/6vrh
  Replies (4) Good night (333) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.

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  (306): Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people. http://tfl.nu/i3ck
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (130)

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