Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

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  (206): I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese. http://tfl.nu/0pie
  Replies (13) Good night (4033) Bad night (804)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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  (631): I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks http://tfl.nu/hotd
  Replies (244) Good night (1024) Bad night (3819)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels

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  (225): i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels http://tfl.nu/zg26
  Replies (58) Good night (797) Bad night (8180)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

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  (219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them http://tfl.nu/zf3d
  Replies (209) Good night (62711) Bad night (2436)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex

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  (816): is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex http://tfl.nu/zw16
  Replies (7) Good night (4633) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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  (248): my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you' http://tfl.nu/ael6
  Replies (25) Good night (2679) Bad night (5569)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox

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  (904): I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox http://tfl.nu/xijk
  Replies (15) Good night (3507) Bad night (1292)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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  (306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp
  Replies (9) Good night (7722) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.

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  (585): Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary. http://tfl.nu/sahm
  Replies (8) Good night (1848) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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  (443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460
  Replies (4) Good night (1137) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.

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  (860): Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination. http://tfl.nu/sipx
  Replies (8) Good night (666) Bad night (318)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you play pong handcuffed?

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  (919): how do you play pong handcuffed? http://tfl.nu/k407
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...

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  (425): The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious... http://tfl.nu/0tkk
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?

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  (314): Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does? http://tfl.nu/d7kp
  Replies (5) Good night (242) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?

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  (517): I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right? http://tfl.nu/axzn
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (176)

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