Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.