Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.