Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house http://tfl.nu/7hx1
  Replies (2) Good night (1051) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods http://tfl.nu/urut
  Replies (8) Good night (1350) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll. http://tfl.nu/r0xh
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (3613)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack http://tfl.nu/52qh
  Replies (14) Good night (1550) Bad night (3249)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher http://tfl.nu/npc9
  Replies (21) Good night (1143) Bad night (6512)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag. http://tfl.nu/o75p
  Replies (8) Good night (3946) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown. http://tfl.nu/wms3
  Replies (6) Good night (5413) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/xzll
  Replies (26) Good night (5161) Bad night (2341)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I smell like Captain Morgan and tears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I smell like Captain Morgan and tears http://tfl.nu/pqes
  Replies (11) Good night (1355) Bad night (2725)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila. http://tfl.nu/6g2r
  Replies (25) Good night (2098) Bad night (1243)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick http://tfl.nu/csbc
  Replies (10) Good night (1132) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3. http://tfl.nu/ytxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1297) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud. http://tfl.nu/58eq
  Replies (10) Good night (2643) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why is there puke in my guitar?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Because you puked in your guitar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Why is there puke in my guitar? (860): Because you puked in your guitar. http://tfl.nu/mgzl
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline. http://tfl.nu/s47z
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (635)

Randomize