ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
