Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
