she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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