Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dick very happy bro
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
