so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You have to summon your inner elephant
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
