Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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