Sponge bath it is.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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