she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
