Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
