I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
