Fuck appropriateness.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
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I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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