We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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