I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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