I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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