Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
