As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
