It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
