O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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