Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
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You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
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