tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
